All I want for Christmas is Capaldi in a sweater
This isn’t a joke if anyone just wants to randomly send me pics I will love you forever.
So yeah… I was talking to Sabrina about how angry I am that Capaldi was super attractive in World War Z and then we accidentally a discussion about the movie. And since I have SO MUCH TO SAY and Tumblr has character limits on their asks and I’m not the world’s biggest fan of fan mail (go figure), this is what’s happening. The first two are just background but I’m replying to the big long one.
*cracks knuckles* *deep breath*
It wasn’t developed. It tried to develop, but it didn’t lay the foundation necessary to develop the way they wanted it to. So, instead of fixing it or letting it develop the way it wanted to, they just forced it. The idea that the infected (I don’t like calling them zombies. Zombies are dead) don’t bother with anything that’s terminally ill is a cool idea. It really is. You could make it work if you tried hard enough… but they didn’t. I mean, you look at that scene with the soldiers, when they take Gerry to the cell with the ashes of the “first infected” and all that jazz, it’s a pretty great scene. That whole block was, imo, the best part of the movie… movie-wise. And when they mention that the infected “didn’t have time” for the soldier with the limp that’d been workin’ on him for a while, it was pretty interesting and well done. They slip it in there like it’s no big deal and its easily looked over. This scene feels like they’re laying the ground work for something. Later, as he’s working on Nubs’ stump, he recalls this soldier, along with the skinny, bald child and the old man. Okay, we’re seeing something here. He’s putting something together. Yes, good. Then he makes it to the World Health Organization (the best part of the movie… sweater-wise. Other than that, this is the WORST part of the movie) and he starts to formulate a hypothesis as to how they can keep the infected from snacking on them.
Now, given what he’s seen/what we know he’s basing his hypothesis off of - a sickly looking child, an elderly man, a guy with a limp - the conclusion he should come to is: the infected don’t like people with injuries/ailments. But he doesn’t. He comes to the conclusion that the infected don’t like people will terminal illnesses… which is great, and is an awesome idea… except based on what he’s seen he should NOT have come to that conclusion! The argument can be made that you could tell the child was sick just by looking at him, fine. Whatever. But the old man? The guy with the limp? How do they fit into the equation? And you have to understand, Brad Pitt saw both the old man and the young boy from a distance. He never spoke with them, he doesn’t know their name, he knows nothing about them. He could not have known they had a terminal illness. The guy he did talk to, the one with the limp… all he knew was that he had a limp and he’d had it for a while. Maybe it was a staff infection, who knows. But that’s not enough information to decide “hey y’all, let’s infect everyone with a deadly disease because based on all this proof I don’t have, I think that’ll make them not want to eat us.” It was forced. Absolutely forced. Like I said, they had groundwork, and they had an end game, but the two didn’t go together. It was like watching someone get frustrated with a puzzle and start smashing the wrong pieces against other pieces until they were forced together.
And then there’s the fact that they aren’t zombies, not really, because they don’t die. No one dies. They get bit and they change in like, three seconds. They’re infected, and even then, we never get an explanation as to how they’re so much faster, so much stronger, able to just grip stone and whatever enough to climb over. They also seem relatively easy to kill, yet can fall from great heights and get up and keep running? All of those infected that jumped over the wall should have broken their legs… especially if they were dead, as Capaldi was forced to say later in the WHO scene.
AND THEN they had the scene where he cut Nubs’ hand off, and like… that’s a great theory and could probably work… but you have to consider the speed at which these things change, as well as the amount of time the two of them stood there and stared at the bite wound. That crap would have already spread by the time he even thought to cut the hand off, and thus she still should have changed.
I can’t even talk about the airplane. In the words of Doge: much bull. Such crap.
BUT - Badgett’s scene was probably my favorite. I didn’t see it as him being like “welp I’m a zombie but I’m already dead cuz I’m a soldier” so much as he had a job to do, and dammit, he was gonna do it. And yeah, he got bit, but his reaction was more like “damn, I got this” and he killed himself, rather than make his troopers do it, which I think was extremely noble. I really liked his character, and thought his execution (no pun intended) was spot on. But yeah… why the Hell would he not turn that phone off or down, knowing he needed to be sneaky? And the whole reason Badgett died was because Brad Pitt watched an infected run at him and didn’t even increase the speed at which he was pedaling he just let it run into him.I refuse to believe he was even trying.
I didn’t see Matthew Fox at all, and I agree that “there are too many people on this ship” scene was soooo forced. It felt like it was in there to make us worry about the family but by that time I really didn’t give two shits about them. In fact, I was rooting for an infected to get on board somehow… unlikely, yeah, but the movie also wanted me to believe that that was the first time anyone in Israel had started singing and the infected hated it so much they built the craziest human jenga the world has ever seen and threw themselves over the top of the wall just to get a snack. I mean… I’m really surprised they didn’t barrel-of-monkeys their way down. Missed opportunity, imo.
Still, I will stand by my opinion that Bellamy’s score and Capaldi’s sweatered, scruffy self is worth the price of admission. And yes, I noticed that. That’s how I found out he was in the movie. It’s funny, because I don’t think he’d be cast by then, but part of me is also angry that his character wasn’t given a name. Like… it’s the end of the world, but does it have to be the end of manners? Introduce yourselves! I WANT NAMES. It also would have given him another excuse to talk.
EVERYONE STOP USING “HELLA” WRONG
I HAVE HAD CONVERSATIONS ABOUT ‘HELLA’ LONGER THAN AN EPISODE OF YOUR FAVORITE SHOW LET ME BREAK IT DOWN FURTHER
'HELLA' HAS ITS ROOTS AS A CONTRACTION OF 'A HELL OF A', LIKE “WE HAD A HELL OF A GOOD TIME” BECOMING “WE HAD A HELLA GOOD TIME”
HOWEVER IF YOU WERE TO SAY “THE STORE HAS A HELL OF A LOT OF CLOTHES” YOU DON’T SAY “THE STORE HAS HELLA LOT OF CLOTHES” BECAUSE IN THIS INCARNATION HELLA IS A QUANTIFIER AND SAYING ‘HELLA LOT OF’ MAKES AS MUCH SENSE AS ‘MUCH LOT OF’
IT’S ALSO VERY CONTEXT DEPENDENT IN THAT IT’S BEST USED IN A CLAUSE THAT’S NOT INTERROGATIVE IE A SENTENCE OR STATEMENT THAT’S NOT ASKING A THING
SAN FRANCISCO BAY AREA PEOPLE WILL LOOK AT YOU WEIRD FOR SAYING ‘WHERE ARE THE HELLA BUSES’ BUT GENERALLY NOT BAT AN EYE IF YOU SAY ‘GOD DAMN THERE’S USUALLY HELLA BUSES WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY’
SOURCE: MY FAMILY HAS LIVED IN THE SAN FRANCISCO BAY AREA FOR A HELLA LONG TIME AND BY THAT I MEAN OVER A CENTURY
LITERALLY EVERY WORD IS MADE UP AND THERE ISN’T A SINGLE LANGUAGE THAT HASN’T EVOLVED SINCE ITS CREATION I THINK ALL Y’ALL NEEDA CALM THE FUCK DOWN ABOUT WORDS LIKE “HELLA” AND “LITERALLY” YOU STUPID PIECES OF SHIT
WORDS HAVE MEANINGS YOU FUCKWEASEL AND YOU CAN’T JUST PICK AND CHOOSE NEW DEFINITIONS AND GET MAD WHEN NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THEY FUCK YOU’RE SAYING
IF SOMEONE ASKS ME HOW MY DAY WAS I CAN’T JUST SAY ‘ABSOLUTE GRAPE’
THE EVOLUTION OF LANGUAGE, I CAN’T CALL MY SISTER A SLUT FOR HAVING A MESSY ROOM, WHEN I SAY I’M GAY I DON’T MEAN HAPPY AND MOST OF THE TIME HELLA IS USED PROPERLY.
EVERYONE CALM DOWN IT’S GONNA BE OKAY. IT GETS BETTER.
I WILL TAKE IT
I WILL TAKE THE RING TO MORDOR
Do you like tea?
hell fucking yes
Who was the last person you sent a letter to?
oh god, I can’t remember tbh
Can you make paper snowflakes?
WHY DO YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT? WHY “HELL FUCKING TEA I can’t even continue my fake outrage because I was going to be like “I don’t like tea are you saying something is wrong with me” but typo’d “yes” and it corrected to “tea” so now it just feels like cosmic condemnation and I can’t fight the cosmos.
The living dead have no fear of fire. Waving an open flame in a ghoul’s face will do nothing to slow or impede its advance. Zombies who have caught fire will neither notice nor react to the engulfing flames in any way. Too many humans have met with tragedy for failing to understand that fire is no deterrent to zombies!
One of the coolest parts of our AFC Wimbledon sponsorship is the fact that we have a lot of advertising space (four boards around the pitch, one full sized page in the matchday programme) and those ads will be designed by nerdfighters, i.e., possibly, YOU!
We need to get the designs to AFC…
I'm sweet. I'm deadly. I'm bad for your teeth. I'm a portal jumper. I keep it real like Scott Disick. I keep going. I read books. I care about things. I get excited. I try not to be too down on myself. Ultimately, I enjoy the ever present game of knowing.
"The best moments in life, when everything comes together, are few and fleeting. But you will never get to the next great moment if you don't keep going. So that's what I do. I keep going." ~Elaine Barrish
"I like you. You keep it real like Scott Disick" ~Anonymous
"Read books. Care about things. Get excited. Try not to be too down on yourself. Enjoy the ever present game of knowing." ~Hank Green